Why women have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since ancient times. Affairs can be filled with troubles, cause heartache, and other troubles. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, faith education, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anybody else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our relulas interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.